Learn how to deal with anger skillfully. These anger management tips can help make the difference between success and failure, illness and health.
Anger can be a really destructive emotion. It can hurt our health. And if acted on impulsively it can also damage our relationships, careers and virtually every other aspect of our lives.
One key of how to deal with anger is not to repress it or “stuff it”. That's not good for health.
Another important anger management tip is not to act out the anger. That's not good for our careers or relationships and family life.
We must find some more effective ways to learn how to deal with anger because anger is a powerful emotion which we all tend to feel from time to time.
So what can we do about it?
Can anger management tips help? YES
The emotion anger has two parts, the mental part or story line, and the physical experience. Let’s deal with these two separately.
The mental part or storyline is our reason or "justification" for why we are angry, why we feel this way. It is always about the past. It is about something someone did or about something that happened. And we have come to the conclusion that what happened is not right. We have decided that it should not have happened that way. We have decided that the person was wrong.
Anger, one of the biggest causes of stress, often occurs when a person, institution or life itself does not live up to our attitudes and expectations.
All of this is our judgment. Our pronouncement that life and people should be different than they way they are.
So we feel justified in our anger and resentment. We tend to mentally dwell on it, nourish it and revisit it often - perhaps because it makes us feel important. But that perspective can damage our health and ruin our lives.
For help letting go of anger and its mental component consider the benefits of forgiveness. Recognize the truth of Plato’s teaching that all people always do what they think is the right thing, only they are sometimes sadly mistaken. They are actually intrinsically innocent. Then remember Christ’s example on the cross ‘Forgive them father for they know not what they do”. Put these two together and we can forgive the world.
However there is also a physical aspect to anger. There are the tense muscles, the shallow rapid breathing, perhaps the feeling of intense pressure.
The best thing to do with the physical symptoms of anger is to not act on them but to just feel them .... do not resist them .... experience them out .... they will go away as we do this.
Take some slow deep breaths - perhaps 10 or more.
Put you attention on the physical sensations and take your attention off the story.
Be patient as you watch the energy of anger dissolve.
You may have to do it repeatedly for awhile but it does work.
Later, after you have “cooled off”, then you can consider whether any action would be appropriate or helpful. You might want to discuss the matter with a trusted adviser to get their opinion and perspective. Anger can have a lot of energy associated with it. Be sure you channel that energy in constructive, compassionate and positive ways.
Use Online Counseling to Reduce Stress Naturally
Sometimes its incredibly helpful to get some professional assistance with our anger and other negative emotions. Online counseling and internet therapy make this very much easier for many people than it used to be.
The Cause of Anger - What is Anger?
Understanding the root cause can help you learn how to deal with anger effectively. These tips identify some common causes of anger including judgments and fatigue.
Effectively Controlling Anger - The Upside of Anger
Trying to control anger sometimes results in repressed anger and serious health problems. Venting anger can strain our relationships. Instead, use the upside of anger for constructive action and harmony.
Free Anger Management Worksheets - Letting Go of Anger
Sometimes letting go of anger is challenging, especially the mental part. These FREE anger management worksheets are designed to help resolve really stubborn anger.
In addition you can ...
Use Stress Relief Exercises
Vigorous exercise can mimic the fight or flight pattern so that the stress hormones are “used up” and we can feel more at ease again. Gentle stretching and yoga can help us relax and reestablish a normal breathing pattern.
Try Breathing for Stress Relief
Slow gentle breathing also works for anger. Take your time. Put your attention on your breath and breathe slowly and gently. This helps to reset our emotions into a more calm pattern and clear our minds also.
Splash your hands and face repeatedly with cold water to help you “cool off”.
Practice forgiveness for help letting go of anger. Its not that difficult once we really accept that as human beings we all make mistakes.
If anger is often a challenge for you, consider avoiding hot spicy food which can aggravate our hot emotions.
Many people have also used EFT for positive results with anger very successfully. It is easy to do and costs nothing.
Other emotional stress reducers can also help powerfully. One of my favorites is laughter.
These tips on how to deal with anger do work. However, please also consider getting the assistance of a trained professional therapist if your anger persists.
When we feel stressed and pressured we are more prone to anger.
For many stress relief tips visit Gentle Stress Relief home page.
Hawkins, David R., M.D., Ph.D. 2006. Transcending The Levels Of Consciousness. W. Sedona, AZ: Veritas Publishing